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Tuesday, March 20th, 2007
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to whom it may concern: i apologize for lashing out on you, both of you. i had no grounding for my comment(s), other than being in the middle of yet another shitty week. but i do not sincerely apologize for what i 'said.' that most likely sounds like the bitchiest thing ever, but i wouldn't have said it if i had not of meant any of it in the smallest bit. i could've worded it better, but i didn't. sorry. i should've been supportive. i wasn't. i'm not trying to turn this on you, but it's not like anyone tells me anything. you can accept the apology or reject it. it's your call. to whom it doesn't concern:
who are you to judge & criticize?! you do NOT know me. i don't know you anymore than you know me. why? neither of us include each other. you haven't included others at times as well. i do NOT come & go as i please. like anyone else, i've been busy. yes, busy, but wait, you wouldn't know what i've been up to. you claim i don't bother to inlcude you or anyone else. are you serious? you're one to talk. we've ALL been busy. we all have other things going on. we all have OTHER friends. we ALL grow apart.
as i mentioned before, i should've been supportive. you were to me when i needed to make that trip. i genuinely appreciate it.
you still have no right to attack me. my comment was NOT concerning you. yes, the above party obviously had spoken to you, but that did not mean to get involved. because you don't know me or my own situations, you have no right to judge me, my 'lifestyle,' or my ex. you don't know what exactly it is like to go away to college & be in a long distance relationship. you do not know what it's like to be adopted. you do not know what it's like to survive a life threatening car accident that flips your entire world upside down & inside out. until you experience ALL of that, then you can judge, criticize, & MAYBE understand certain things. you both can hate me all you want. what was said was said. nobody can go back & change/prevent it. i won't be around this summer anyway, so you won't have to deal with me.
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Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
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| Time: | 7:47 pm. |
| Mood: | happy. | | Music: | As Wings Develop - Race The Sun. |
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CONDITIONS take a listen
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Thursday, March 9th, 2006
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BE HONEST I want you to post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything: a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, your opinion about me, anything. Be sure to post anonymously and with honesty. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say about you.
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Fine. No more.
FROM NOW ON!
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Tonight is Jenn's & maybe Meg's.
Graduation was ok. I was ready to pass out. I'm glad it was quick. Sarah was so cute. I missed her. It's sad that I can't go without seeing her. I need my daily doses of Sarah. -_- Her pink eye is gone. =D Hopefully her cough will die too. Anyway, I got a glimpse of E & J getting into their car. He was looking good. He & I really have to arrange a meeting soon. He saw me though & said I looked good. ;)
I woke up in pain this morning. Of course, I feel like shit, & I had Graduation. I had massive cramps. Naturally, I drugged up.
Yesterday was good. I slept until about 11:30-12ish. I signed online. I cleaned for a little bit & texted Phil to wake up. He called me back. We made a CVS run. While we were there, I got waterballoons [600 to be exact], a lighter, & condoms. Phil got me a card. = ) We payed, & then he came back to my house for a bit to help me start filling balloons. We filled about half a garbage can until he had to leave. Phil was so adorable. I love him so much. Before he left, he wrote in the card & then gave it to me. He then went back to the car & took out a Armani Exchange bag. He got me a t-shirt. I was in awe. I had no idea. As he was handing it to me, he said, "I got this on my lunchbreak. I didn't get to eat." I was ready to cry [for emotional reasons...PMS]. The day before he told me he went to the mall on his lunchbreak to shop for his sister & mom. He never mentioned to me about getting me anything. It was so adorable. Phil <33333 Matt came, & we filled it up to the top. Natalie then arrived. We had soooo many balloons. The family rolled in. Blahblahblahblahblah...Eventually, Lindsay, Jimmy, Jaime, Mary, Jon, Anthony, Stacy, Rondell, Chris, Jen, Kimathi, & Daisha, Meg Lavi, Kristin, Rachel, & Amanda arrived. People left early & arrived late for whatever reasons. Phil came back for a dinner break. = ) He was so cute. He didn't want to show up in his REC attire, so he threw on a polo shirt over his REC shirt. What a sweetheart. Anyway, Mark didn't show up. That was really disappointing. I think that's why I wasn't in the best of moods towards the end of the night. It bothered me that he didn't show. Honestly, it still kind of irks me [Dana, the strings are most definitely attached, & I can't help it.]. Mr. & Mrs. O came! I was so excited to see them! I love the O'Connell's! Mark would've stopped by, but Mrs. O wasn't able to get a hold of him, & he didn't return her calls. ='( We chatted about the new album & the new label. It was cute. I'm excited for the new album. It's supposed to be a lot harder than Where You Want To Be. I'm just amped for it. Anyway, at the end, it was me, Natalie, Matt, Rondell, Chris, Kimathi, & Daisha. We were going to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith, but that was sold out when we got there, & my mom was being a bitch & didn't want me to see a later show. Instead we got Coldstone. We took a few pictures & just sat in Coldstone bored out of our minds. I got home around 12:15.
Friday night was fun. Q-Zar! Derrick called me, too. =) He called to tell me what was up with him & Danny! I got so excited. Danny <3 I can NOT wait to see him! ;) He's 29. Just wow. 11 years older than me. Oyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy, so hot though. Plus, it so would be worth it. He was born & raised in Italy. Enough said. He's a marine. Just Oh My Word! Anyway, I want Danny, & Derrick & Sarah want to meet. =) I think it could work out. So, after we chatted, we played some lazer tag. It was me, Rondell, Lissa, Chris, Matt, Natalie, & VanEyken. Kimathi came, but then he left because he wasn't feeling well at all. The first game sucked. The Asian kid who was giving us the rundown was hysterical. VanEyken kept pissing him off. We all were pissing him off. His little brother was even pissing him off. He yelled at him in front of us a few times. It was so funny. Anyway, we were playing with people who are hardcore about it. They were screaming at VanEyken when he only held the gun with one hand. They had snipers all around. Half of them turned the censors off. It was total bullshit. The second game was a half hour & a little bit better. This time we split our group up. Originally, it was just us, but then those other people randomly joined our game. That was obnoxious. Whatever though. After, we went to the Carle Place Diner. It was alright. It wasn't that great. I missed a call from Phil. He was at a party & wanted me to come. =) Unfortunately, I wasn't able to. =( Phil & I still have yet to drink together. So, I didn't get home until 2. =/ I was a half hour late. I headed up to bed around 2:30. Phil wound up calling me. We were on the phone for a couple of hours. We hung up around 4:45, when the birds started to chirp. Phil = love.
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Q-Zar tonight with the guys! We have to make a CVS run. Wadup waterballoons & condoms! = )
P.S. My Graduation party is tomorrow! Woo! If you're coming...bring clothes to change into. You're going to get wet...RAIN OR SHINE!
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Yesterday was cute. I went to Sarah's. We chilled in the pool for a bit. Then we layed out. We hit up Roosevelt. We met up with Mary & Lindsay. = ) We did some looking in AE. Nobody was there. =( We went to Hollister, then Abercrombie. Andrew was working!!!! = ) We chatted with him for a bit. We got him a cup, but now he has to take us to the beach Saturday. =D There were NO bathing suits in the canoe room. >:O We went back to the Food Court. Sarah saw Chris. We finished my fries & went back to AE. Chris was working & so was Andres. = D Woo! Sarah tried on shorts. I tried on capris. We bought them. =D What now Drew?!?!?!? HA! I showed Mare & Linds my Graduation dress.
 Then we headed out. No QZar for me...too broke. I got home around 8. Mark IMed me. =) Who called it?! =P I finally got to wear my silk top. ;) We went on one of our "walks." We ended up in the backyard & then his car. Tony called. I had a missed call from Phil & a voicemail. Then he called while we were in the car. Mark didn't let me answer. It was cute. He was being cute. -_- I was being a tease. = P I started walking home & called Phil back. He came & picked me up. We went back to his house & started watching SLC Punk. He took me home around 12. Sarah & Andrew stopped by. = D They're nuts! Sarah has pink eye & is dying. I'm sad now. No beach or party for her. ='( What am I going to do? I ordered 3 tickets for Weezer & TBS! = D I have an extra ticket. Wednesday, July 13th @ Nassau Colisseum 8pm $43 Let me know if you want it. Today...?
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So the past few nights have been a bust... Tom is being an asshole. Drew & I have been talking lately. Phil is a sweetheart. Girls are fucking idiots. My brother can go kill himself. He called me a fat fuck yesterday. I wish I was a guy. I feel lonely. Sarah is the best. I want her to get better'ASAP, so we can go to the beach & have our manage with Peet. ;) Let's kill them all. I can't stop crying. The Rec should burn down. I love the new Starbucks commercial. I don't want to go to Graduation. Just send me my diploma kthanksbye. I need booze & weed.
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| Subject: | Moo! |
| Time: | 10:24 pm. |
| Mood: | bored. | | Music: | Macho Man - The Village People. |
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It's Sunday. Graduation mass/awards ceremony/breakfast was gehh. I was dizzy at one point because I hadn't eaten. I went to the beach with Phil, Testa, Paul, & Sarah. It was fun. I got a tan. Sarah & I were being cute. I did nothing tonight. I was hoping I would get a call, but no. Oh well. Congrats to the Chami boys! You guys made it! Woo! Yesterday was cute. I got my Graduation/Christine's wedding dress. It is random. I love it. I need to find the perfect shoes. Sarah joined me. American Eagle was amazing. Almost all of the BEAUTIFULS were working. We made a bigger scene. Steven talked to us this time. He so reminds us of Billy. Andres came in. It was so much fun. We went to Freeport. We hung out with Matt, Kimathi, Rondell, & Daisha [sp?]. We got Dominos! Yay for pineapple pizza! <3 I ate a whole pie plus a couple of pieces of cheesy bread. We finally went to the carnival at the Nautical Mile. We got there when it started to close. Go us! Sarah left. We walked back to the car. Rondell took me home. Friday was whatever. I don't recall much. I don't think I did anything. Ok, I'm done.
I might go to the beach again tomorrow. I know I'm going to Dodgeball with Sarah. We want to see people. =D
P.S. Tomorrow, Dana is 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I went for a walk with Mark. We didn't end up in his car this time. We chilled in his backyard. It was good times. Being with him is so comfortable. I'm not going to lie about that.
People suck. I remember why I hate Holy Trinity.
The End.
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| Subject: | Heaven... |
| Time: | 8:16 pm. |
| Mood: | flirty. | | Music: | Jude Law & A Semester Abroad - Brand New. |
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Yesterday was fun. Last night was even better.
When I got home, I signed online. I talked to Phil. We decided to get lunch. I showered & whatever. He picked me up around 1:45. We went back to his hosue to wait for Terrance. Terrance came, & we went to Greek Town. I had the Greek pizza. After, Phil & I went back to his house. We hung out & talked. I also made plans to meet Tom & his friend, Joe & introduce them to Sarah & Dana. I wound up staying at Phil's until about 6:40. No, we did not hook up. The thought most definitely crossed both our minds. I mean come on it's me, & it's Phil. So, Phil dropped me off. I got changed & waited for Dana. Sarah had to babysit. We met the guys at Starbucks & then headed back to Tom's. Dana & I played some pool with them. It was cute. Once Sarah got home, we picked her up & decided to go to the Rec. I knew Dodgeball was going on, so I figured why the hell not. Oh man, that was most definitely one of the best calls I've ever made. I was in heaven for so many different reasons. It was paradise. Almost all the loves of my life were there. Ok, more like hot guys who I've hooked up with or had/have a thing for. It was Mark, Phil, Adam, Ross, Nick, Tom, & Conor. I was just happy. I haven't seen Adam & Conor in forever. I really haven't seen Nick either. It was good to look at those beautiful faces again. Ahahaha...I'm so annoyed that Adam isn't working this summer. Grrr...We're all going to visit him one weekend. We're bringing the party to him. =D Dodgeball was hysterical. The guys are too funny. It's cute to see them get all excited & into it. I was such a mess. I was all over the place, between Phil & Mark. Oyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy. If Nick wasn't playing, who knows how much of an ass I really would've made out of myself. Anyway, after Dodgeball, Phil drove Matt home & took us to Taco Bell. =D I didn't get Taco Bell. I got Pizza Hut. Wadup breadsticks! After, Phil took us home. I gave him another kiss on the cheek. -_-
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Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
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Last night was random.
Detailed update coming...
Edit: Celebrity Night was cute. I enjoyed it. My table was cute. Beautiful was helping out. <3 Keith called me while I was there. He knew too that I was out. Obnoxious!!!!!! Ugh, Anyway, I worked my magic & got Dana & Sarah their Prom dates. =) Some of the winners were well deserved, others not so much. For the most part though, it was a good time. I got some more signatures & what not. Anyway, onto the PAR-TAY!
Before we went to Ashlee's, we stopped at Liz's. Jenn, Sarah, & I changed in the car. Liz got what she needed, & we were off to Ashlee's. We got there, parked, & was ready to par-tay. I was looking for Gerard because he had my beer. [Side note: it wound up being BYOB] Fortunately, I found the right people. Anyway, Max had the case, & I dove right in. I had about 4 beers & 3 Smirnoffs. I smoked up who knows how many times. All I know is that I was fucked up. I remember peeing in the street. People hooknig up. RANDOM people hooking up. Chris & Sarah, Justine & Gregg, Valentino & Ashlee then Monica, Kevin & Sarah then Kerilynn, Nat & Andrew [not so random], others in the loft =X...Anyway, it was one crazy random night. It was awesome though. Mrs. Wainer was very chillax about it all. I disappeared for a little with someone. I can't say who though. Sorry. Trust me, a party without getting any ass, not possible. I managed to get some. So, I recall talking to Chris Marcel. I think that was the first time ever. There were a lot of first time conversations that night. I also confessed my love to Anthony Rodriguez. Ahahaha...I told him that I've always had a thing for him. Jamaine was getting very clse with me. Rondell & Matt kept their distance. It was also definitely the first time all of the RVC people partied together. It was the first time for a few to drink. It was pretty sick. The cops only hit us up once. They were driving up & down the block, but they only came in once. By then, it was too late. Mu ahahaha...sucks for the cop who tried to show Ashlee up. =P It was Ash, Deirdre, Jen Ruvi, Lindsay, Rachel, Kerilynn, Sarah, & myself who were left. Tansey, Tomasulo, Cannella, Wider, Bencic, & Marcel left for Chris'. We wound up staying in the loft until about 5 am. It was too cold. We all went inside because we were freezing. Four of us slept in the living room, two in Ashlee's room, & two upstairs. We wound up waking up around 9. It was all Lindsay's fault. Jimmy called her cell, & of course it went off & woke us up. Grrr...oh well. Ashlee started cleaning, & we all left. Deirdre dropped Sarah & me off. =D I didn't get home until about 11 something.
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Yesterday was a bust. We made new friends though. I also met Andres. =D Andres is very cool. I talked to Steven. He was really hot. I'm going to shop at American Eagle as much as I can this summer. ;) Drew was funny, but he really caused the scene. >:O Oh, whatever. I got to talk to the hot guy! =P I also got a new bag. That was a fun time. Yay for making asses out of ourselves. =D I made a few phone calls. I called Nick & Mark. I called Phil when we left the mall. I told him I would call when we got back to my house. I called. Phil needed to shower, so he showered & said he'll call me back when he got out. So, while we were waiting, we visited Mark. That was a bust. He was being his usual asshole self. Why am I attracted to assholes? *le sigh* Anyway, Phil finally called me back. He was going to hang out with some of the guys. We finally left Mark's & went back to my house. I called Kelly if she knew of anyone. Nope. I signed online. I felt loved. People wanted to talk to me. =D Keith IMed me. Blahblahblahblahblah. Phil asked us if we wanted to go on a Taco Bell run. Of course we accepted. It was Tom, Rich, Testa, & Phil. Rich was a cutie. ;) Phil was looking adorable as always. Phil <3 Testa was being nuts as usual. Matt called Tom Hendel for us, but got his voicemail. "Hendifero it's Testifero. Some ladies..." Oh man, that was classic. After Taco Bell, we went to Phil's. We had some mint chocolate chip ice cream! =D <333333 So, we said our goodbyes, & Phil took us back to my house. I gave Phil a kiss on the cheek. -_- It was kind of random. So, Dana left then Sarah. I went back online. Keith IMed me. Blahblahblahblahblah. He was supposedly "trashed." Who knows if he really was or not. I couldn't care less. Why would I talk to him online about things? Why would I talk to him espeically if he was drunk? Either way, he was being obnoxious. I probably sound like a total bitch, but if you only knew what he was saying. Ugh, just stop. I went to bed around 12. Tony never answered me back. Hmmm...hopefully he'll come through for afterprom. =)
So tonight is Celebrity Night & then Ashlee's par-tay! I'm fuckin amped about that. I have no idea what I'm going to do about my cap & gown & yearbook. Who knows. I'll figure it out eventually.
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Wow, is all I have to say about the first few nights of summer.
( Friday )
( Saturday )
( Sunday )
So, today I think I’m going out with Dana & Sarah to find Prom dates for them. That should be fun. Hopefully, we will find them dates. I want to. It will be so fun. Ahahahahaa…we’re going to wind up scaring so many people away, but that’s nothing new there. My bruise is still on my arm. It hurts so much. Thanks Tony. =P Oh yea, I have a random bruise on my boob too. I think that’s from Tony as well. Maybe I’ll be lazy & hang out with Mark if he’s up to it. Who knows. I’m in no rush.
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So, the last day of high school was madd krazy! It was so hectic. I loved it. The first night of summer was insaneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! The second night was even karazierrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I will go into to details in a bit...
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1 more fucking day of my high school career!!
So, I was talked into going to Celebrity Night. It was for two reasons: Anthony Rodriguez & Ashlee's party.
Tomorrow at 2:30 is officially the start of summer. I'm so fucking amped for that! Tomorrow I might be going to the beach to watch the sun rise. Then Food for some breakfast. Then 3 finals. Then going nuts! We get our yearbooks too. I heard they came out really good. =D Then I'm going out to dinner with the guys. Hopefully, they will be up to going to Christine's afterwards. Saturday is Brittnay's! Woo! I am sleeping over Natalie's. Nate is going to drive us! Woo! Yay! Keith is coming too! =D I can't fucking wait! I have so much to do though. Oy, oh well! Yay for getting my social life back!
Oh, we finally got to have rainbow cookies in Food! I creamed myself when I saw the tray. OMG, orgasm much?! I think so!
P.S. Tony got a cell phone! <3 =D
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| Subject: | 5 |
| Time: | 12:54 am. |
| Mood: | cheerful. | | Music: | SNL in the background. |
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5 more days...
=D
I suck at bowling.
Bowling & 1/2 Lemonade 1/2 Iced Tea Snapple reminds me of summer.
I want the summer to come so badly.
I miss my friends.
I miss Kelly, Mags, & Heather the most.
I think the last day of school I will be fucked up like there's no tomorrow.
=D
The end.
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I don't know.
I'll update in detail when I get home.
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| Subject: | 9 |
| Time: | 6:06 pm. |
| Mood: | bored. | | Music: | Dance Dance - Fall Out Boy. |
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section one - introduction
+ known as: katie, the asian, baldwin + lives in: my parents house + shoe size: 7-8 + hair color: dark dark dark dark brown aka black + eye color: brown
section two - have you ever...
+ cheated on someone?: yep + been cheated on?: not that i know of + Messed around with someone you knew was taken? not that i know of + fallen off the bed? yep + broken someone's heart? it's a possibility + had a dream come true?: im not so sure on that one + done something you regret?: nope + cheated on a test?: yep
section three - currently
+ wearing: red shorts & a black tank top + listening to?: channel 7 news + located: den + chatting with: nobody + watching: channel 7 news + should REALLY be doing: homework
section four - do you...
+ brush your teeth?: yes + have any piercings?: ears & had the tongue...i will be repiercing that + drive?: used to + drink?: of course + smoke cigs?: EW NO + smoke reefer?: yep
section five - the last person you...
+ hugged?: joe + kissed?: keith + IMed?: gregg + talked to on the phone?: keith + yelled at?: rob
section six - personal
+ what do you want to be when you grow up?: someone in the music industry + what has been the best day of your life?: the weekend i met jon & the day i received someone's blessing...lol + what comes first in your life?: friends + do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: i have a boyfriend...hes the best! + what are you most scared of?: dying all alone + did you lose someone you really loved?: yes + how many times have you fallen in love?: 3 + love your friends?: hells yea mother fucker
section seven - favorite at the moment
+ movie: phantom of the opera + store: a&f, hollister + relative: cousin, ali + sport: surfing, baseball, soccer, hockey + ice cream flavor: mint chocolate chip + fruit: peaches, pineapples, grapes + candy: reese pieces + day of the week: friday + color: all + name for a girl: list too long + name for a boy: list too long
section eight - do you
+ like to walk in the rain?: yes & sing + like to travel?: yes + have a goldfish?: nope + have stuffed animals?: yes
section nine - what do you think about...
+ suicide: bad, but it's crossed my mind before + eating disorders: bad, people are way too self conscious & need to think on their own + summer: amazing, hottt, full of sex & booze, unforgettable time of the year
section ten - this or that
+ pierced nose or tongue?: both + MTV or BET?: fuse + 7th Heaven or dawson's creek?: dawsons creek + sugar or salt?: sugar + silver or gold?: silver + chocolate or flowers: chocolate + color or black-and-white photos?: b&w + stay up late or sleep in?: stay up late + hot or cold?: hot + mustard or ketchup? ketchup + wonder or amazement?: wonder + mexican or italian: italian + pepsi or coke?: coke
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The weekend wasn't half bad. It was good to hang out with Ali. We went to Gino's for dinner last night. I saw Mark & Heather leaving the REC. I was going to jump on Mark's car, but he had a green light, so I decided not to. After, they dropped us off back at the house. We did nothing. We both wanted to go out, but we had no way of getting wherever. They won't let me drive, & Aunt Ruth took her keys to her car. I wanted to visit Keith, but yea, that didn't happen. Instead, we wound up watching a couple of movies. We talked too. She filled me in on some things, & I filled her in on some things too. It was a good talk. I hope I can find time to go visit her this summer. That'd be so much fun. Plus, I want to see Ryan again. ;) I love that southern boy. I miss him calling me Munchkin. =) Plus, he thinks I'm oh so innocent. I'd love to play that card again. Ahahahaha...If he only knew what I've done, but I'll keep that o myself for now. Apparently, he liked my hair long. He would be disappointed with my short hair. Oh well...but yea, spending a week in Maryland would be fun...;)
I slept until 11ish. I showered & then had an everything bagel with cream cheese. Father didn't get any vegetable cream cheese or my green tea. ='( I was sad. After, I finished getting ready & then we waited for mother to get back from mass, so we could leave for the shower.
So, the bridal shower wasn't so bad. We were late, but that's ok. Nobody semmed to care. On the way there, I felt as if I was going to Tony's. Oh the memories. ;) I haven't talked to him in forever. We had some good times. Anywho, It was me, Ali, my cousins Amanda & Renee, mother, my Aunt Ruth, Aunt Joy & Aunt Peg at one table. We were the "outcast" table. There's hardcore separation in the family. I won't go into to that though. There wasn't any alcohol. Ali & I were disappointed about that. We both wanted to drink. At the wedding though, we ARE getting shitfaced. The food was decent. Ali & I tried to avoid pictures, but we were forced to take a Baldwin cousins picture. >:O THe dessert was good. That's about it. Aunt Ruth, Uncle Joe, & Ali left for Maryland from there.
Now, I'm here. Nothing to do. Well, I don't think I have anything to do. Oh well, I don't really care anymore. I'm going to be so hungry later. I hate early dinners.
This week is going to be a busy week...My last Art Show ever.
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